Sleep Training: Night 5

Yup, another rough night last night. I feel like I’m at the point where my sleep debt is so great, I can’t climb out of my funk. I know part of the problem is that Connor hasn’t wanted to nap all week, so I’m not getting the chance to nap either. Yes, I can make him lay in his bed and rest, but he never does so quietly, which means I can’t shut it down. I truly cannot wait for the day when I can take a nap just because, not because I’m so desperately in need of one. Will that day ever come???

Again, I don’t have a good record of the previous night’s activities because I have all but become dead to the world when I do climb in bed. Alan is doing the best he can to keep me asleep and oblivious, which I’m thankful for, but also frustrated by the fact that I need that so badly.

10:00. Alex is up, Alan soothes him back to sleep

12:00. Ben is crying hard, we are worried something is wrong. Alan brings him in to bed with me, against the rules, and I nurse him in bed.

12:15. Alex is up, standing up in bed, fussing. It’s like he knows Ben is gone. So we take Ben back to bed and I nurse Alex in their room and then put him back to bed.

4:30. Ben is up, Alan takes care of him.

5:15. Alex is up, Alan takes care of him.

Okay, life around the Knight house is quickly becoming ridiculous. I am a freaking zombie. Connor’s behavior is out of control, I can only imagine it’s one part his sleep being affected and one part vying for attention from very tired parents. The babies are getting worse sleep at night than before, they are more fussy and more unhappy during the day than ever, and even not napping well, not that they ever really napped well. Something has got to give.

So tonight we move on to full on cry it out. I do not plan to nurse them at all before 5 am from here on out. The only debate Alan and I are having at this point, whether or not to shut off the monitor. I understand what he’s saying, if we are going to ignore the crying anyway, why bother listening to it? But I don’t think I can do that. I certainly don’t think I can sleep not knowing what’s going on with my babies. Heck, I can even hear Connor on the monitor, and I love that! But do I really want to torture myself tonight by listening to them cry???

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