22 Months and 6 Days

Yesterday was a fairly significant milestone for us. Ben and Alex were 22 months and 6 days old. I know, you are thinking, “so????” Sure that isn’t one of your more typical anniversaries. But it is important to me. Why?

When Connor was 22 months and 6 days old, his life (and ours) forever changed in an incredible way: he became a big brother. Yesterday Connor was exactly twice as old as Ben and Alex. And I cannot help but feel nostalgic when I think back to his days as a 22 month old, and all of the changes that came.

That morning that we left for the hospital for my induction, I remember blowing kisses to a sleeping baby Connor… my baby. But when I saw him again that afternoon, suddenly he wasn’t a baby anymore. He was so big! It was as if in those 12 hours we were apart, he grew up on me. It is amazing how old a 22 month old can seem when he is sitting next to a 5-pound tiny bundle of joy.

Connor holding Benjamin, just a few hours old

Connor holding Benjamin, just a few hours old

That was a hard transition for me. I wasn’t ready to let go of my Baby Connor and embrace Big Boy Connor. I wanted to freeze time and keep all of my boys little forever…. well, maybe after the twins started sleeping more and crying less…. but you get the point.

Now I find myself looking back at that transition in our lives, and it forces me to realize that Ben and Alex aren’t babies anymore either. I know, technically they have been in the “toddler” category for quite some time now…. But they are almost 2 years old! They are growing and learning and changing every single day. They have embraced the Terrible 2’s, much to our dismay. They can communicate their needs and wants with an extensive vocabulary that continues to surprise us. They can show compassion for one another. They can assert dominance over one another. And they can demonstrate true, deep, endless love for their brothers.

Benjamin, 22 months old

Benjamin, 22 months old

In my eyes, Ben and Alex seem so much smaller and younger than Connor did at this age, but I know that is the same mental trick that was played on me 22 months ago. I have played the “what if” game… what if at this stage in the twins’ lives we were bringing home another baby? I know that they would grow up overnight in my eyes, compared to that brand new sibling. But because that has not happened and they remain my youngest children, I think it is safe to say that they will remain babies in my eyes for quite a while longer.

Alexander, 22 months old

Alexander, 22 months old

Maybe I’m just not quite ready to let go of the baby stage of life just yet… It is bittersweet to watch your children grow… to mourn the end of one phase even as you celebrate the next. So no, I think I will hold on to my “babies” a little while longer, even Connor. They have the rest of their lives to be all grown up, I’d rather not rush it.

Connor, 22 months x 2!

Connor, 22 months x 2!

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